i almost forgot about it
until i recalled once upon a time i had a remarkable encounter in a winter.
the winter when i met someone unexpectedly, what happened was so fatal that i know i can never let go.
repentant, regretting, incredulous.
all the mistakes i've made. oneday i will let go.
i read all articles that i've written, and i wonder if i am still the same person whom i used to be.
the music is still on.
ride on, see you.
i could never go with you no matter how i wanted to.
why i still feel like having butterflies in stomach, although this time it's different. as light as september sky.
it's not like the way it used to be, bittersweet.
I've been very busy in the past year.
PhD upgrading, going for fieldwork, and then conferences, situating my distant loneliness deep in my heart.
Although I was always surrounded by lovely friends and my partner,
stresses from work could do me a little favour.
About 2 weeks ago I had a conference.
Although I don't think I did a fantastic job, it really was a great experience.
I met a bunch of nice scholars from all over the world in the conference.
I think that was the best part of it, shaping my burgeoning academic identity.
i wish someone well. im sorry, sorry for knowing that i want to forget.
and i know someone is sorry too, sorry for understanding my knowing.
to know all is to forgive all.
however, i cannot help pondering what if we never met.
tomorrow will still come, another sunrise after sunset.
Posts
